Good news—no disasters at Llew's birthday party. Llew enjoyed the entertainment, or at least the entertainers ;-) He seem positively entranced by the dancer, Lady Shari. He was having a good time talking to her when he was dragged off by Lady Alexandria to meet "eligible" bachelorettes. I figured Llew must be really smitten, as he didn't even look interested in the young ladies that he was being introduced to. Despite being somewhat jealous of his fixation on Lady Shari, I gave her one of his cards. Llew looked so miserable when he was separated from her, that despite my jealously, I felt I had to do something to get them together again.

I was feeling somewhat down—rather sad for being at a party—when I met this sweet satyr named Vivian. She's about my age and delightfully forward. We danced together, and I think that's about the time Llew hooked up with one of the other entertainers from earlier in the evening, the satyr Calandra. I figured he would enjoy himself with her, so I offered to take Vivian on a tour of Llew's mansion. Not unexpectedly, we ended up in my room and had a very enjoyable night together. She's quite talented, and likes to talk a lot. As we tried out various positions, I learned which ones were popular with former lovers, which ones were good for groups, and so forth. I also learned some interesting things about her brothers. (I'll have to remember to ask her Fiona brother, Gabriel to the next party—her other brother is Sir Kellin!) It seems she's something of a voyeur as well as a gossip. I like her, but I'm not going to tell her anything I need to keep secret!

Vivian and I ended up taking breakfast in to Llew and Calandra the next morning. Happily, Llew looked relaxed (and beautiful, of course) when we saw him.

I had a strange dream that night. I must have been really sated, for it wasn't like my normal dreams. It mostly involved the Gwydion of the household, and there wasn't anyone I was particularly interested in. I guess it was sort of precautionary—like if I'm not careful, I'll end up sitting and waiting for a baby to be born. I suppose it would be okay, but I'm certainly not in a hurry for it!

That reminds me —the mute Gwydion isn't mute!

Also, in the dream I had this impression it was Llew being born to Lady Fiona. He's beautiful enough for it to be believeable, but I've met his mother. I'll have to admit I don't get it —but then again dreams don't always make sense.

I still want to declare my love for Llew, but he's smitten with the sidhe dancer. The night with Vivian helped relax me, but even so, I still feel the need to do something. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to push him into something, ‘cause I might hurt him or pushing things might even drive him away. Our friendship and oath of fealty bind us together and I know I should be satisfied, but I'm not. I want to swear and oath of love with him. I don't care if he has others too, but I want to know I will always be in his heart. I'm ready to swear that he'll always have a place in my heart, but I don't know if he's ready. Love hurts sometimes.